my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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