she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I looked at my own cervix.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
third nipple confirmed
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
