I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
