I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
