have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize