I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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