I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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