I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
