Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
