i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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