and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
