I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
