What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
