I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
