you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
