what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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