Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
