): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
