i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
