I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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