Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize