margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
