while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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