I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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