Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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