Where is the hickey?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
