so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
