then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
