Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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