The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize