i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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