dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
