Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
