Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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