The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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