My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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