It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
