made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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