So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A bitchslap is in order.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize