Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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