You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
