yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
