my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
