I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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