You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
