I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
