Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
