this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
