I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
