Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
