Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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