we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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