never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The beers last night were like the tears from god
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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