the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize