Pants 0. Shit 1.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
