Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
this hospital has no fireball
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
