I hate your face
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize