I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
