Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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